shopping

God Spank the Queen

On Bert's business card she describes herself as a 'Small. Blonde. Industrial. Powerhouse'. You don't say. Bert is London's mistress of bucking trends and blushing cheeks. Past projects have seen her create everything from NHS voodoo dolls to gold tooth bracelets. The madness continues with her latest 'bottom blushers' - handmade leather spanking hands, so alluringly cheeky that Marilyn Manson has already placed an order.  Celebrate their launch at Coco de Mer tonight, safe in the knowledge that this blonde powerhouse does not do things by halves - she promises 'surreal hilarity and beautiful women'. / Clare Considine